Zettai Draco! Absolute Draco!
by LovingTheOgre
Summary: The male population of Hogwarts group together to destroy a group making explicit manga of them. Enemy's band together against a common enemy the masses of Yaoi fangirls and the Doujin circle ruled by a Hufflepuff who should be Slytherin COMPLETE!
1. It all started when I read this yaoi

**Zettai Draco! _(Absolute Draco!)_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!**

**Sasuke: This is Part One to a side story to before the blond wonder lost his mind and made a mad dash to Japan (In the fic that nobody reads called _Pajama De Ojama_). It basically explains what he experiences during the up rise of Shojo Manga, weird bishonen filled anime and eventually dojinshi spawning from the Manga and Anime that so happens to resemble him called _Draco in Love_. (By complete COINCIDENCE mind you) **

**Sera: Yeah…seems though that no one really likes this random _Mysterious Play_…**

**Sasuke: …_that_ has nothing to do with _Fushigi Yugi_…really you are on a total Watase/HP jig you know that?**

**Sera: I am aware of the fact, yes.**

**Sasuke: So here it is the next exciting installment of Draco's Lament…or the next installment of the weird one shots that have to do with him.**

**Sasuke: …You're a real moron…**

**Sera: …You're a real Sasu/Naru lover behind the scenes…**

**Sasuke: ah… touché…**

-

"May I ask what this is?" Draco snickered at the shivering girl sitting at the very back where his favorite teacher stood looming eerily at her side holding something that she had apparently been immersed in. Usually when Snape did things like this it meant that Draco would undoubtedly have a good day. A good day to hang around the girlfriend, tease her idiot brother and possibly get away with copping a feel though that had yet to be successful.

Hey, Draco was no villainous cur, he was no sick pervert with ulterior motives where it came to Ginny but-he was a determined hormonal teenage boy. That was excuse enough for his actions. To him and the rest of the male population minus the red headed ones anyway.

But back to the drilling that the uncomfortable girl was getting, a Hufflepuff apparently, who looked like she smeared red paint onto her cheeks. Ah yes, the humiliation was lovely.

However, when Snape snapped the book opened _(Draco noted that it was a manga by the cover)_ Draco had not expected Snape to do the following: Stare wide eyed, sputter something ineligible, and stalk out of the room glancing back at Draco _(his eyes twitching)_ and Harry _(his eye twitching even more)_ and slamming the door shut.

_'What was that about?'_

Pansey whom stared at the book answered his internal monologue, she was rifling through it, before she…even _now_ Draco had nightmares, squealed loudly.

"**DOJINSHI**!!"

Another girl stood immediately bringing out her own hidden book squealing loudly as well. Draco's ears stung.

"I let her borrow that copy! You have no idea how hard it is to get **Hard Yaoi**!"

"**Nani**? So _that_ group is actually doing Dojinshi now?"

"**Hai**! They're calling themselves _Clock Work Drarry_."

"**Honto**?"

"**Hai**!"

While Draco stared on at the exchange that every girl was apart of now, he wondered if he was losing brain cells he decided that enough was enough. Standing and slamming his palms hard on the surface of the table he addressed the blushing girls with cold eyes.

"You're not **JAPANESE**! Stop with the **HAI**'s, **NANI**'s and **DESU**'s! It's ridiculous!" He sighed. "And what the hell is a **Clock Work** **_Drarry_**?"

Their eyes landed on his form, every male within the room shrunk back into the desks fearing slightly for their lives. They knew-oh they knew what was occurring. It seemed that Draco had been slow on his odd recent shift in popularity. Not that anyone of the guys would have said a word. It would have disturbed the 'natural order' of things that the girls had set about.

The poor bastard.

"**Nani**? Draco-**Sama**?"

"It's Draco."

"Draco-**San**?"

"No honorifics."

"Draco-**Kun**?"

"_Changing_ honorifics wont get it right?"

"Draco-**Chan**?"

"Now you're just being silly."

The girls simultaneously giggled their hands coming up to hide their mouths as they stared at him. He was lost, the reason for their giggling going right over his head. He noted that their eyes were shimmering-he wondered what they were thinking. _(I'll give you a peek into the girl's POV: Shinny cliché shojo effects in the background with a dramatic close up of his face with a flowery background. His blond almost white starlight hair shinning as it flowed slightly from a wind that held no reason for blowing seeing as they were in a room…)_

A girl stepped forward, small in stature. Her gossamer blonde hair tide in a long braid down her robed covered back shined, her bright brown eyes peeking up from her blond lashes and rounded glasses. If Draco were anyone else he would have blushed at the utter and total docile cute like creature approaching him-but he didn't.

Her small hand held out a book to him, one of the comics that the girls were fawning over. She smiled up at him. "Malfoy-San perhaps if you read this you'll understand."

He took the book, staring at a pretty boy drawn on the cover with cat ears. It didn't take a genius to realize that the drawing was a very feminine depiction of Potter pouting in what he assumed should be a cute fashion. He flipped the book opened and scanned a few pages.

_'Potter a cursed neko…what the hell is a neko? …blah blah blah…sold to Oh! Sold to the Malfoy family…blah blah blah…wow do they really think I am that girly? Why are my eyes so uncaring and narrowed? Do I really look like that…blah blah blah…Well…what? No No NO!! I would not tie Potter to my bed! I would not probe him with my wand! Don't you dare Japanese Influenced drawing Me mount over him! Oh GOD why is there a close up of Potter's puckered hole? Why oh why am I…NO NO NO DON'T PUT THAT IN THERE! WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THAT IN THERE?!'_

He threw the book across the room as though it were acidic. He stared wide-eyed at the girls who laughed harder while the boys in the room stared shocked.

"What the hell was that?"

He was ignored as the girls began to speak.

"Oh? That was inspired by Maki Murakami's _Gravitation MegMix Kumaguro_ style really hardcore! Can you believe **Clock Work Drarry** were inspired by the explicitness of it?"

"I know! I can't wait for the next issue of _Magical Neko-Chan_!"

"Or _The Slytherin Prince's secret_!"

_Insane…the lot of them_.

That was what every boy there thought.

"DEAR GOD YOU PERVERTS!" Harry yelled apparently having opened the thrown comic-it landed by his feet. He looked at the girls with equal confusion and disgust. "Who wrote this?"

"**Clock Work Drarry**." Pansy said.

Harry shook his head. Draco decided to find his voice again and talk for Potter who looked close to retching. "We know that but…who exactly are **Clock Work Drarry**?"

There was silence amongst the girls, hushed almost ominous. Ron sneezed.

"We don't know."

"Then how do you get these things?"

"A source."

"Who's the source?"

"We can't tell you."

_'We're running around in circles!'_ Draco wanted to slam his head against the wall…or maybe theirs.

"All we know is that their leader is among the Hufflepuff."

"Hufflepuff?" Harry asked composing himself. "Then they must be stopped!"

Draco nodded in agreement-though he hated Potter he'd putt the utter loathing aside. They had a common enemy that needed to be destroyed.

"No Potter they must be destroyed…" Harry and the rest of the young men looked at Draco. "Men-first it begins with Potter and I. Who's to say that it shall not be **you** who will grace the diluted fantasies of these girls's minds? Drawn in strange and totally impossible positions licking and sucking and kissing someone of the same sex. As I speak now I try to forget the vivid imagery of what I had witnessed but the memory wakes up screaming. I, my good men, am scarred for the rest of my life…if we do not ban together to destroy **Clock Work Drarry **then whose to say it wont be **you** _(he pointed at each of the guys)_ who are the target of their strange and perverse homosexual longings in the future?"

There was whispering amongst the boys, murmuring that made the fan girls quite nervous before Hermione stood sighed loudly.

"Who cares? They're only comic books what's the harm?"

Harry gapped as Draco's head made a neck braking turn in her direction molten silver lava emulating from his eyes like the pits of hell themselves.

"Were you slow as a child? For Merlin's sake woman it's...it's _slander_!"

"Slander? Really now?"

"Yes!"

"I don't think so."

"Well what if it were you depicted in a perverted slave and master lesbian relationship with someone like Pansy? What if it were so graphic it put pornographic videos to shame but the sheer audacity of it?"

Hermione laughed quite amused as she collected her books and made her way-along with the fan girls to the door, class was obviously over.

"That's idiotic."

Draco's eyes narrowed, he shook his fist at her retreating form.

"We'll see…we'll see…"

-

In a dark room hidden within the castle a girl handed in the finishing touches of her work. She smiled her blue eyes shimmering at the perfection of her work and her teammates work. I had been a long coming-the one shot but totally worth it.

"Here is the last page **Sensei**. I hope that you are pleased."

A figure smiles, perfect lips curling back show two rows of white teeth.

"Thank you, Lu-**Chan**, I am sure they are adequate."

"**Sensei**, this manga…is it perhaps too graphic?"

Sensei laughed a pleasant deep baritone. A male apparently. _(Go figure)_.

"No. There is nothing too graphic in showing love. _(Yeah right)_

"**Hai**." Luna departed back to her worktable delighted now that Sensei had praised the quality of their work.

A girl hidden in shadow, her brown hair lit slightly from candle light appeared in front of Sensei's table and bowed, her eyes down cast.

"**Sensei**, there is a problem."

"Mi-**San**, what is it?" He asked leaning forward his rich auburn hair shimmering.

"The boys have decided to find out who we are. They plan on destroying us."

Sensei leaned back in his chair and hummed slightly obviously thinking hard. He laughed; it wasn't a kind laugh either. It was cold and cool and calculated. He smirked making Mi-**Chan**, who had lifted her head shiver. He leaned forward.

"Then we shall merely hasten the production of our manga…and make other much more colorful pairings."

"But why?"

"We wait for them to retaliate then we send the mass produced manga not only all over Hoggwarts but to the rest of the schools…perhaps even into the hands of Muggles. The boys will have no where to hide…everyone will know their names, faces and apparent lovers…even the toys they 'like'. With that we will come out victorious. And if they do not retaliate then we just send the manga to the girls on our fan listing as a preview to our next work."

Mi-**Chan** stared proud yet slightly disturbed at **Sensei**. If the boy's retaliated and did anything too hasty-like she knew they would-then all of them would suffer.

"You understand, don't you Mi-**Chan**?"

Her_mi_one nodded, her lose slightly frizzy hair hanging awkwardly at her sides as she stared at Sensei.

"**Hai**."

She completely understood.

**_-_**

**_Sera: Chapter two is longer and much more involved with Clock Work Drarry. The guys are gonna wish they never grouped together._**

**_I made Hermione one of them-it was just too easy. Also, review with whom you think the master mind Sensei is…I bet some of you might get it…but most of you probably wont. The next chapter reveals Sensei…I hope you can hold out till then._**


	2. CWD Newsletter

**Zettai Draco! _(Absolute Draco!)_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!**

**Sasuke: This is Part Two to a side story to before the blond wonder lost his mind and made a mad dash to Japan (In the fic that nobody reads called _Pajama De Ojama_). It basically explains what he experiences during the up rise of Shojo Manga, weird bishonen filled anime and eventually dojinshi spawning from the Manga and Anime that so happens to resemble him called _Draco in Love_. (By complete COINCIDENCE mind you) **

**Sera: Wow I forgot about this one a while back! Been working on some others…like the Nana/Hp one and I have to say that that particular one may in fact be my last one for quite a while after it's finished.**

**Sasuke: Why?**

**Sera: Because I'm moving to a new city and I wont have a computer for a while. I can ask Sarah to finish some of the other for me that aren't completed since I've sent her all of my drafts for the important ones that are not completed. FOTB: 2 Rise of Grandpa Twitchy for instance will probably be done by her.**

**Sasuke: But she doesn't write FanFiction…what about your other HP fics? Will she do those?**

**Sera: Maybe…at least until I get settled. She'll do it if I ask. For instance the other part of this series-she already said she'd do it.**

**Sasuke: Only because she likes Yuu Watase. Anyway-we have one person who had already guessed at who Sensei is.**

**Sera: And I gotta say you are mighty close. He will be revealed very soon!**

**Sasuke: So R and R no flames and also for those who are pissed that she placed it as complete? Well she only did that because at that time it was COMPLETE. If you don't review she won't continue a story meaning it is DONE. **

**-**

Draco Malfoy could not find any of his regular clothes. His uniform was gone, his usual turtle neck and matching black slacks were gone-even the clothes that his mother sent that he didn't like were gone.

He held up the sleeveless black shirt with slight ire but shrugged. It went with the tight black pants and boots that were apparently laid out for him to wear along with the necklace adorned with a monkey on a padlock and mood ring.

It could be worse. He figured at least he'd look good.

Slipping the shirt on, it was rather snug, he laced his boots trying to ignore the large mood ring. He thought of where his clothes might be and he was horrified by the very thought that the intruder might have…touched him. After all it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was one of the Fan-Girls. His hair was not slicked back, it was a choppy wavy mess, didn't have any product because all of his hair gel had been stolen too this only cinched it.

The Fan-Girls had said that they wanted to see his hair Au Natural. It had to have been them!

He grabbed his school bag, praying that Snape would be forgiving with the lack of proper uniform, and trudged out of the dorm walking straight to class with his head in the clouds. It was a rule of his not to leave any door or window unlocked and he was embarrassed by his lack of efficiency but then he remembered that he'd been studying so hard.

He ignored the others though maybe he should have looked at them because if he had he would have noticed that the boys, the good-looking ones were dressed oddly too.

He wasn't the only one to be robbed last night.

_"Wai! Malfoy-Sama Kawaii desu ne!!!"_

_"Aishteru Malfoy-Sama!"_

_"KAWAII!!!"_

_"Look he has a Monkichi pad lock necklace!"_

_"OMIGAWH his hair is just like Night-Kun's! He looks just like Night -Kun!"_

_"No he looks like a young Nakago-Sama! Get it right!"_

_"Marry me baby I'll be your Riko-Chan!"_

He'd never made it to class quite so quickly in all of his life while blushing but he assumed it had to do with THEM and for a strange moment he wished for the floor to open up and eat them though he realized that was not how the old saying goes.

"Why should the world open up and eat me when there are so many of those monsters it can eat?" He said out loud as he took an unlikely seat next to Ron Weasley who grumbled a curt "hi" before looking away. They weren't friends but they had a very common enemy.

"Hullo…?" It was the first time he noticed that something was quite amiss. Weasley was wearing a black trench coat lined with blue and there was a giant iron fan strapped to his back. In front of him Potter wore a high collared uniform lined with burgundy, it looked decidedly Asian. He was holding a trowel looking confused.

Finnigan was wearing a thick yellow sweater and a collar on his neck with baggy light blue pants. He was toying with the collar and laughing.

All of the boys in their class were dressed as characters. And to Draco's growing horror he noticed a trend amongst the better looking and popular ones all had to do with THAT woman. Yu Watase.

"Bloody women stealing all of my bloody clothes…" Weasley mumbled as he crossed his arms.

"So, Weasley, what did they call you?"

"What?"

"What did they call you? They called me Night."

Weasley's eyes darkened in annoyance as he and the rest of the boys stared at the other side of the room. The girls were all giggling madly. "Tasuki. What the bloody hell is a Tasuki?"

Potter shrugged when Draco looked at him, he seemed at least a little more composed then Weasley but not by much.

"They called me Kouki Kugyo. Apparently I like gardening." He lifted a comic from his bag and studied it, the glossy cover was splayed with color. "Imadoki-Nowadays, they dressed me up like some character. And, Ron you are apparently from a very popular series, a celestial warrior and a Bandit king from Mt. Reikaku." He took another comic and handed it to Weasley who flipped it opened. It was an art book.

"Do I want to know?" Draco asked though he was already reaching for the book Potter held out to him. "Absolute Boyfriend?" He flipped it opened and began to read. "Oh. How quaint. I'm a sexually unrestrained robot in love with a flat chested head case who reminds me of a less intelligent Granger. Life is now complete…shoot me. I can finally die happy."

Weasley lifted his hand making a gun sigh, Draco only knew what it was because he took muggle studies, and smirked.

"Bang."

"That's not funny."

"No, it's hilarious." Finnigan said with a low chortle. He balked out laughing as he stared at the door the Professor finally arrived though he was a little less old…then what was the usual. "Oh they've finally gone and de-aged him…poor bloke."

Draco and Harry could only star with fish like expression as the girls around them swooned.

Though his nose was still hooked it was smaller in comparison to before though it might be to the longish choppy waves of crow black hair that looked less greasy then usual. His clothes were different but that may only be assumed because of the dramatic change in stature and bulk. It seemed that the professor was much lither and muscled back in his younger years because he wore a normal white t-shirt that showed off the light muscle and a pair of dark slacks that hugged his lean legs. He seemed to not notice the girls drooling or the gob smacked expression from the boys. He stood at his desk still a menacing figure…an undoubtedly handsome menacing figure in modern t-shirt and pants.

"I want to know…**who** did this…" He hissed and his voice, while still very low and deep retained something boyish and slightly sensual. "Stop your giggling." He said pointedly at the girls. Hair fell into his eyes and half annoyed the young Professor Snape swiped half of it up with a small band.

The giggling continued and the boys felt themselves shrink back.

"My physical appearance changes nothing. Despite the…hideousness you all must look past it. I will not tolerate any more idiocy then per usual."

"He thinks he looks hideous?" Potter said in disbelief. Zabini merely shrugged.

"He's a handsome bloke and if I were attracted to older men trapped in younger bodies I would-" But Draco had leaned forward and smacked a hand over Finnigan's mouth.

"SHHHHH! They'll hear you! You can't continue to joke in such a fashion anymore. Don't you know how…how…fucked you'd be if they heard? The homosexual comic books depicting you and that man would come upon you so fast your head would spin." He warned backing off slowly as to not catch the still ogling girl's attention.

"Oh."

It was during Dinner that the boys had noticed, with horror that things had taken a turn for the worse. They had decided to squeeze into one table where they were left alone from the giggling masses of the Sea/Snake (Seamus/Severus) fan club that was growing quite quickly much to Snape and Seamus consternation and utter embarrassment. _The Clock Work Drarry_ lovers were salivating over their newest comics which all were colored pictures shimmering gloss in the candle light.

From beside Draco, Blaise Zambini cried into his hands-he'd just been featured in _The Slytherin Prince's Secret_ one shot where he was involved in a rather hot three some involving Draco and Potter. And while he cried, Ron patted his shoulder but looked less effected then the other boys though that may be due to the fact that there had yet to be any yaoi porn involving him as anything less then the comic relief supporting character.

"There there…"

"There were…_spatulas_. _Why_ where there spatulas?! For Merlin's sake I had to _eat_ treacle tart right out of Potter's anu-"

"**SO** anyone see that last game? Who else saw Hufflepuff winning am I right?!?!?!" Ginny Weasley-one of the non salivating fan-girls, cut in loudly. No one wanted to hear about anything like that…though she had to secretly admit that it was her favorite scene. She turned towards Cho who sat beside Harry with a slightly exasperated expression. They were the only girls on the right side of the room. "Where's Cedric?"

"He's sitting by himself in the Hufflepuff table. I think he likes his costume."

"Who is he again?"

"Someone named Gaku Namikiri."

"Ah." Ginny said looking at Cedric Diggory. He was munching innocently humming some tune rather loudly. He looked towards the girls and waved with a large smile on his face making Ginny smile. "It suits him to be the business man in that comic. He was my favorite."

"Yes. By the way, did you get the C.W.D newsletter?" Cho leaned forward, ignoring Draco's lament at cat ears and Harry's agreement that all Nekos should be burned. "The war has just begun apparently but it won't list what's to happen. And apparently there is a spy among us-a few of the boys."

Ginny nodded solemnly-oh she figured that a while ago. Ron was much too complacent. He must have been bought out by **Clock Work Drarry**. Promised to never appear as anything scandalous in their Doujinshi and despite how she should be disgusted she couldn't blame him.

She would have done the same thing.

"But I wonder who their leader is? She's quite cunning."

"It's not Slytherin. Remember, they said it was a Hufflepuff."

"Well she's the most Slytherin Hufflepuff in existence. I wonder what is in store for the boys now." Ginny said. "How horrible for people like Neville and Colin and Cedric especially Cedric. You know how innocent he is. He probably thinks what is in those comic books is wrestling. He takes such things in stride with such a smile."

Cho nodded in agreement. "I hope it doesn't hit him too hard."

From the Hufflepuff table Cedric Diggory smiled bright looking completely unawares on the outside. He stole a quick glance at Hermione Granger who nodded in hello before she turned back to her food and he went back to singing. He really was all too innocent, it was a shock that he survived this long.

* * *

The next Doujinshi commissioned was the most frightening based on Hetalia. Draco Malfoy as Germany whipping pasta loving Harry Potter as Italy into shape though that was only one of the many pairings and the boys all cried in defeat. And Cedric still smiled goofily taking it all in stride after all.

"We are changing our names." Sensei said with a smile on his lips. "The Bishonen are catching on and now they have the support of one of the Professors. While I commend you for de-aging him I must reprimand you also. It could have been too easy for him to figure you out."

"But Sensei, Mi-Chan made the potion. Mi-Chan is the best!"

"As well I know." Sensei said with a smile.

"Yes well it was easy." Hermione blushed.

"Despite that, I don't want you to take any unnecessary chances. I know how much you all wanted to even de-age Lucius Malfoy but that is too dangerous for you younger years who want to take the role. I suggest someone from…the more cunning of us. Goyle, Crabe if you will."

Crabe and Goyle nodded in unison counting their gold.

"The Hard Core Hetalia/Mega Mix inspired Yaoi will be the last work of Clock Work Drarry." Sensei lifted a hand of objection. "I know, I know ladies it's a harsh step but in the right direction I assure you. We will allow the Bishonen to believe that we have backed out…for now. Then we shall rise and from the ashes of false defeat we will rule under a new name a BETTER name!"

The girls howled in excitement and tears as Sensei shouted proudly.

"For are we not merely tools created to commission the entertainment of women? Is it not **the** double standard that makes it hard for all women to truly be equal in all things that are sexual? Ladies I refuse to allow the Bishonen that you love to win this war. It is for you and for the sake of **RULE Number 34.** And what is that rule Ladies?" He cupped a hand to his ear and turned his head to listen as they all shouted in unison.

"IF IT EXISTS THERE IS PORN OF IT NO EXCEPTIONS!"

"That's right." He smiled brightly. "We will use that of which is Adam Arnold's we shall become that one wonderful name that will shout all that we hold dear to the heavens and to what we are one body one mind! This is **AOI HOUSE**!!!"

"YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

"IKASU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cool)"

"Kakkoii!!!!!!!!!!!! (cool)"

"YATTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He laughed with them and shouted their new Club name in the air. Sensei cleared his throat to silence the happy crowd with one upturned hand. They looked at Sensei in awe.

"And _I_ shall go by a new name…I shall become…**Onii-San**."

The crowd went wild again and every male in the school, the male teachers included all shuddered as the cold clammy hands of terror came upon them.

And again…_Ron _sneezed.

* * *

**Sasuke: Chapter 2...one more to go and she'll be done. Review and no flames. BTW did anyone guess at who Sensei or rather Onii-San's true identity? There is a GIANT clue! Anyway review and no flames!**


	3. Revealed by a guy who's just a Playboy!

**Zettai Draco! _(Absolute Draco!)_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!**

**Sasuke: This is Part Three to a side story to before the blond wonder lost his mind and made a mad dash to Japan (In the fic that nobody reads called _Pajama De Ojama_). It basically explains what he experiences during the up rise of Shojo Manga, weird bishonen filled anime and eventually dojinshi spawning from the Manga and Anime that so happens to resemble him called _Draco in Love_. (By complete COINCIDENCE mind you) **

**Sera: This is the final chapter of this story. Read and review but no flames!**

* * *

The castle was filled with a hush of whispers and every now and then a piercing sob broke through the quiet din. The boys rejoiced in the RoR (Room of Requirement) celebrating over the destruction and desecration of the Fan-Girls and all they held dear. _The Slytherin Prince's Secret_ had been **Clock Work Drarry's** final doujinshi, the group had disbanded.

From his perch Draco Malfoy and Seamus Finnigan passed a bottle of something, Draco knew it was muggle but really didn't care what the name was. He was feeling warm and slightly numbed as the revels continued boys dancing and drinking and swearing around the fire pit bellow only stopping to laugh at the kindle that stoked it. All of CWD's doujinshi, glossy covers melting and bubbling like molten lava.

"This is most in inappropriate." Still De-Aged and handsome in an irresistible way, Professor Snape stopped short to cackle as Fred and George Weasley dumped a box filled with Sea/Snake fiction. "But I suppose the particular meaning of inappropriate here is merely moot."

"That it is sir that it is." Dennis Creevey nodded at his side with a pleasant smile on his face as he went to work shredding the Dennis/Blaise slash doujin. A maniacal shadow came over his face as he looked up into his De-Aged professor's eyes. "Wonder if we can manage to make **physical violence **moot too, sir. I wonder how moot we could make a **massive Fan-Girl slaughter** and how moot their **pain filled screams** would be."

Snape said nothing but merely shivered.

Back at the bon-fire the twins rejoiced, arms flailing, jumping and swinging about as the Twincest Gaiden Novels burst into flames. "Was that good for you Gred?"

"It was it was Forge!" And they rejoiced pulling even Ginny into the dance with them. She laughed and twirled.

All of the boys from all four houses were there celebrating alongside the handful of girls who didn't quite enjoy the doujinshi either at all or not to obsession. Daphne Greengrass hung on Dean Thomas's arm drunk as anyone had ever seen her while Malfalda Prewett enacted one of the haughtier scenes with over enthused and ridiculously deep voices.

Surprisingly Lavender Brown, who oddly found the fan-girls distasteful, was in deep discussion with Ravenclaw Julien Macdonald and Slytherin Anne Mayfair about a possible rebuttal of something called Yuri Doujinshi as a way to get back at all the Yaoi fan-girls. And while Draco had called it tawdry and bellow their level to "do something as evil as what they have done to us, but I like you drive Lav. It's really appreciated." Harry Potter smirked wickedly and began to draw Padma and Parvati Patil in lascivious positions with corny dialogue.

"Didn't know that Potter was an adept artist, though I suppose I should really be shocked." Blaise commented to Michael Corner who shrugged.

"He's working on hatred and revenge. That's what is driving him to draw like that-what inspiration." Wayne Hopkins said to an unconvinced looking Blaise.

All the boys were brought together all houses became one all became friends. Old rivalries were put aside as enemy became brother all had a common enemy that had lost the battle.

But, the boys had not won the war as they had figured. No, not by a long shot, they had missed the literal definition for what all fan-girls are: _A person who has a compulsive dedication to a videogame series, anime series, and/or music artist and is often said to be "drooling". _

And really, they must have missed the fine printed warning explaining how much **more** dangerous YAOI fan-girls are:

_WARNING: Beware of yaoi fangirl groups. If one happens to enter the vicinity of a yaoi fangirl, and one is a relatively cute looking guy, run. Run very far and very fast. Do not look back. Do not mention certain shows with disdain around them. One will be clawed, or at the very least, never seen from again. Examples of these shows would be, Weiß kreuz, Saiyuki, Inu Yasha and Naruto._

Any anime fangirl could be a yaoi fangirl as they do look like any typical anime fangirl. In fact, if she is into anime, and considers herself a fangirl, there is a very good chance she is a yaoi fangirl. So just beware of them all.

If treaded around carefully, one will survive an encounter with a yaoi fangirl with relatively few scars...that are physical. Psychologists should be standing by.

It was one month to the day that the celebration between men took place. It was a lovely afternoon and while Severus Snape was still quite De-Aged he was adjusting well and still completely naïve as to why his hideous face would cause masses of girls to still swoon but he figured he would use it and take it in stride.

Wasn't it Lily who once told him, _'you're greatest asset is your looks. You're so mysterious and all the girls looking at you drive me mad!'_

He _still _didn't understand.

It was during one of his classes, the one that had started all of his mental grieving. The former masses of perverted hormonal monsters sat on one side oddly complacent while the boys were happily chatting with one another.

Slytherin and Gryffindor males, friends even. He never thought he'd see the day when Ronald Weasley would actually willingly talk to someone like Blaise Zabini or Draco Malfoy writing a script as a favor for Potter who could needed assistance for the comic he himself was drawing and Cedric Diggory sitter there in the middle of it all, the only HufflePuff there to retake the class.

But then hadn't he and Lily been friends once upon a time despite their differences?

He sighed, Lily was always going to be a sore subject no matter the context and despite the fact that he was steadily moving on with his life. It was like he had died for a moment and had realized what was important in life and hell, the day he woke up a teenager he almost did die.

And he almost died again when a book appeared on his desk in front of him and all the other males in the classroom with a thud emblazed with the name **AOI HOUSE** on the leather cover. He ignored it as a prank a little miffed that he'd been shaken by a measly book when there was a shriek in literal terror.

Blaise Zabini, with a look of utter befuddlement and fear shook in unsuppressed tears at the book in his hands his dark eyes glossing the pages. He burst into tears.

"Why me?! Why is it **ALWAYS** me?"

Seamus Finnigan wolf whistled at the book in his own hands and gave a pat to a almost comatose Dean Thomas who's eyes had suddenly seemed to shrink.

"Well at least you're the man in this one."

Neville just fainted in a manner that seemed oddly over exaggerated.

Perhaps the most comical were the faces of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter who didn't seem to be breathing. They looked at one another and the Harry Potter fainted with an uncharacteristic girlish squeak falling into Draco's arms. Draco's head swiveled to the other side of the room staring at the girls who seemed to stare on in front of them as though they hadn't noticed the boy's sudden alarm and mental breakdown and in most cases sobbing messes.

"I will destroy you. Just mark my words, Fan-Girls…"

Snape just pushed the book into the trashcan beside his desk without looking at it.

"**Clock Work Drarry** will pay."

The same docile girl, the one he thought was too adorable to be real turned her eyes towards him and sweetly smiled almost making him blush. Oh, he knew that she was one of them and would not fall into it. "There is no **Clock Work Drarry**."

"Only Zuel?" Draco joked but his face was all serious. "If there is no **Clock Work Drarry** then who is it? Another Group?"

"It's written on the cover page, Draco-_Chan_." The girl giggled.

"I liked it better when you called me Draco-_San_." He said before staring at the cover of the book. "_A-Hoy _House?"

"Iie, Draco-_Chan _the title is properly pronounced Owwie, that's how it sounds. Aoi House."

"Owwie? Owwie that sounds like." He stared in utter disbelief and horror etched in his eyes but it was Cedric who spoke first.

"Yaoi House, it is called Yaoi House isn't it?" Cedric was now directly in front of the desk staring at the girl, he was shaking.

"Hai."

"Then that means that…that **Clock Work Drarry** was not taken down and that…means…that…_means_…" He turned towards all of the boys and crossed his arms across his chest in a manner that was completely un-Cedric. "The Bishonen have _failed_."

He sneered at Draco who now stood and Snape felt like the moment was missing something like popcorn. The air was tense as all of the boys stood behind Draco and the girls behind Cedric.

"Cedric Diggory I _should _have known." Draco said to a smirking Cedric. "The one who is so clearly over looked, so clearly innocent of all impurities and the kindest and gentlest of us all…it was so _obviously _you."

"Why yes I am partially to blame. Though let me introduce myself properly, I am **Onii-San**, general proprietor of this lavish enterprise." Cedric bowed.

"Why Cedric, why did you do it? It's humiliating to put your fellow male classmates through this you…you…**SNAKE**!" Harry said now fully awake. He was at Draco's right side standing poised as ever the little Hero.

"You stand by your _Tsuki No Ou_ (Moon King) without question then? I was hoping to bring you around to this side of things but well that won't happen now."

"I'll never join you!"

"My, oh my you are the brave little _Senshi_ (Warrior) aren't you? I just find this all the more amusing at what I will next reveal." He said menacingly though Snape was less inclined as to know what was going to happen and powerless to stop it. "Because my little _Bishonen Senshi_ I too have a right and left hand of my own. _Mi_-Chan and _Akage_-San. My _Bushi_ who by all accounts are among you even now as you stand there untied." He laughed. "Mi-Chan, if you would please step forward, I will let you take the lead."

Snape's eyes widened and he joined all the males in surprised gasps, oh he had not even considered that but now that he thought about it, it was obvious that he was upset at himself for not realizing before. Hermione Granger stood at Cedric's right side with a smile on her face despite that everyone, Harry _included _Ron _excluded_, was scowling.

"I won't try to persuade you all into thinking along the lines as us so I will cut to the chase-we have heard rumors of some collected few of you who have _threatened _to find the members of **Clock Work Drarry **though seeing as there is no **CWD** then it is impossible. **Onii-San** and I have decided to come clean about who we really are as a sort of _Dual Ambassador_."

Draco found his voice suddenly as a look of confusion filtered his face.

"Dual Ambassador? You mean Diggory _isn_'t behind all of this?"

"Not really, I am merely here for entertainment and payment of course. I cofounded **CWD** and AOI HOUSE with _two _others and gave them the majority of the rights though I oversee the artists and the scripts." Cedric shook his head. "But really, I'm just a _playboy_."

"There are more of you? Damn it!" Blaise shouted in consternation. "Why don't you leave us all alone? You realize what is going to happen now don't you? We can kidnap Diggory and torture him!"

Suddenly Snape remembered Dennis Creevey's face. Oh yes, physical violence, kidnapping and torture _would be_ moot in his classroom.

"Fine, but it wont stop it will just get progressively worse." Ron Weasley said standing on Cedric's other side. He shrugged his shoulders at the utter shock on Potter's face and the glares from the others but he didn't squirm.

"No Ron," Potter said. "Not you too Ron!"

"Sorry mate didn't have much of a choice besides it isn't so bad." The redhead said with a smile. "With the payment you get working for them it makes it all worth while."

"Then that makes you the other co-founder then, Weasley?" Draco only sneered in disgust.

"Who me? No way Malfoy though it's flattering to know you think so highly of me. No, I'm _Akage _(readhair)." He waved.

"So what you are trying to say is that being depicted as slathering girly idiots it's ok because of the money? You're sick Weasley, you and Diggory both."

"Actually he's an opportunist and I'm just a _playboy_!"

Draco threw his potions book at Cedric; it barely missed his head before tackling Cedric in a moment of anger.

"You aren't the only one who has read **RG Veda** you _Kujaku _impersonator!"

"Oh Drake what did I do to make you hate me!"

"Stop moving around and let me kill you!"

"D-draco c-can't…b-b-breath…!"

"Good!"

There was a click amongst the noises of hitting and sobbing a Polaroid picture. He showed it to Hermione and then to the rest of the fan-girls who giggled loudly shouting: "**Onii-San**! **Onii-San**! _Kisu_! _Kisu_! _Kisu_!"

Before Draco could move…

Before Harry could say anything…

Before understanding of the word sunk into Snape's brain…

_Not_ before Cedric took Draco's face in his hands…

_Not_ before the Fan-Girls squealed…

_Not_ before Blaise began to sob…_again_…

And **definitely** _NOT_ before Ron stood ready…

**CLICK!**

One week later the boys were again huddled in their table grumbling about the latest AOI HOUSE doujinshi came fresh off the shelf, so to speak. It was a drawing depicting a very androgynous Draco Malfoy being passionately kissed by a domineering Cedric Diggory while a large green eyed Harry Potter spied from beneath his invisibility cloak spied. That's right, the final installment of The Slytherin Prince's Secret had just come straight out the presses sold with the other two doujinshi in a special offer variety pack.

You guessed it, authors notes, rough sketches and the fan-girls ate them all up…along with all the other fan-girls in all of the other magical schools and not so magical. Much to Draco's consternation the AOI HOUSE doujinshi was being sold all throughout the UK.

Seething amongst the crowd of angry, confused and in Zabini's case, sobbing males he looked directly into the eyes of the two known Bushi Granger and Weasley and scowled. "This means war!"

-

"Do you think we've made a mistake with the slight reveal?"

"I don't think it will do any harm. From what I have seen, **Onii-San** has it under control."

"Miko-Sama is right _Taiyo no Ou_ (Sun Kin) and I thought you had faith in me."

The three founders stood at the top of the astronomy tower staring at the blue sky. For Cedric, it was a surprise that no one figured them out, after all the title **Clock Work Drarry **had their last initial. It was fairly simple if you took the time to think about it.

Cho Chang and Percy Weasley looked out into the horizon looking in awe at the diffused colors completely content while the self proclaimed _'Playboy'_ Cedric Diggory merely groaned.

"I hate Twilight." He said with a smile on his face.

* * *

**CLOCK WORK DRARRY**

**C**_hang _**W**_easley_** D**_iggory._

* * *

I know that NONE of you saw that coming and while the majority of you guessed correctly that it was Cedric, none of you saw it coming though the clues were there. Like Cho or rather 'Miko-Sama'-in Pajama De Ojama chapter one she was with Harry but in chapter 2 there is lack of her anywhere near him (though he has only a tiny bit of screen time) and in this story she isn't mentioned as his girlfriend but is still around him but still seems to show affection for Cedric as far as to point out that : "The war has just begun apparently but it won't list what's to happen. And apparently there is a spy among us-a few of the boys."

How did she know about spies if she wasn't on the inside?

As for Percy's role in this as the infamous W. Originally it was going to be Ron as W or rather _Taiyo no Ou_ but then I thought that Ron's all brawn and not brainy enough to pull it off. Easily bought, easily able to take something like that in stride and loyal-because it was his brother that he was loyal to which is in fact Gryffindor. Can't say it isn't. Besides, Hermione, or Mi-Chan needed a partner that is easily persuaded and someone she could get a long with. Ronald fit the bill to the T.

Another possible W was going to be Oliver Wood but then I couldn't make the dynamic work. Oliver would be too extreme and seems like the type who wouldn't necessarily work well with others. Cho's the brainy one, Cedric's the Comic relief-Oliver wouldn't fit in with either of those.

I thought about Neville but then it would have been less shocking so I scrapped it-though when I get the rest of **Pajama De Ojama **up he will play a pivotal role on the other side (whether he wants to or not.)

Oh and the Japanese nick names for the CWD team? Here is some character background on them"

Cho Chang

Birthday: February 14

Age: 17

House: Ravenclaw

Hobbies: Reading, Quidditch and various muggle spots.

Otaku Meter:

Cho is more of the normal anime and manga fan and enjoys OST's though not to the extreme. She collects Gundam models and memorabilia especially Gundam Wing (Duo!) and has only slight fan-girl impulses. She does, however go completely postal when it comes to slash pairing and loathes a majority of canon pairing (she can't stand Naru/Saku or Sasu/Saku).

Her only fan obsession is Yaoi and Shonen-Ai. Her favorite non canon pairings are Gaara/Neji, Sesshomaru/Miroku, and Roy/Ed amongst others. Her OTP is Ryuichi/Tatsuha and she proudly wears a key chain depicting Kumaguro holding a Tatsuha plush. She dated Cedric Diggory though it seemed from the beginning that the relationship was doomed to fail as both only had two things in common; Anime and Quidditch. They remained very good friends after that with no awkwardness when she began to briefly date Harry.

She is the script writer for much of the doujinshi and is a large fan of Draco/Harry/Blaise and often has strange ideas in which there are kitchen products and treats in odd places. Cho is often looked at oddly by her two male partners but backs up her logic as this: _"I'm a fan-girl with an unhealthy obsession with Blaise. I am also a rabid YAOI fan-girl to besides a little on the uke's (Harry's) body scavenger hunt with two delicious Seme's (Blaise and Draco) never hurt anyone."_

Percy Weasley

Birthday: August 22

Former House: Gryffindor

Hobbies: Work, work and work

Otaku Meter:

Percy is a closeted Otaku since his fourth year. Along with other closet Otaku's like Oliver Wood and Cedric Diggory and few others. He enjoys cosplaying and entering into various anime/manga related competitions. His favorite manga is between Fruits Basket and Excel Saga and he also has a secret obsession with Sailor Moon action Figures and wall Dragon Ball Z wall scrolls. His favorite anime is Dragon Ball Z and Tenchi Muyo.

He enjoys doing various pranks-like his brothers'- and has an almost unhealthy love for work. He was the one who suggested creating Doujinshi and the founder of Drarry slash pairings. His reasoning: _"The visual contrasts, the antagonism and the frantic obsession with one another. It is oddly reminiscent to Sasuke and Naruto-it's guaranteed gold."_

Percy usually writes angst scripts for the Drarry doujinshi and mostly notably wrote **The Slytherin Prince's Secret **and all of its sequels. On his days off from work he visits the CWD HQ located near the Slytherin dorms, where he assists in drawing manga with what he and Cedric call "_Honorable_ _Bushi_".

Cedric Diggory

Age: 17

Birthday September 7

House: Hufflepuff

Hobbies: Quidditch, music, drawing and baking cookies.

Otaku Meter:

Cedric was introduced to manga when he was five years old. While a then twelve year old Bill Weasley was asked to watch Cedric he took an almost immediate shine to the five year old who liked "all the pretty drawings" on Bill's walls. His first manga was Ranma 1/2 which to this day he still obsesses over and his shockingly his favorite genre in manga is Boy's Love (Aka: Yaoi and Shonen-Ai) though he isn't gay. His favorite manga to date is Haru Wo Daiteita. His favorite anime series/ost's are Fuyu No Semi, Papa to Kiss in the Dark, and Ai no Kusabi.

He draws a majority of character designs and sketches for the _Honorable Bushi_ and tends to woo the girls with compliments and smiles though he doesn't realize that he's doing it. His favorite pairing is shockingly Seamus/ _anyone_ stating: _"Finnigan seems like the kinda bloke who'd try anything and anyone once. He's funny too can't argue with those looks either. He's the perfect Boy's Love hero."_

He was called Sensei first because he felt that he was teaching the girl's how to embrace their inner fan-girls but then changed his name to Onii-San because of his like for the AOI HOUSE character and because he felt like the big brother in the group though he tends to refer to himself as just a '_Playboy'_ indicating that he is a fan of Kujaku from RG Veda.

He has a thing for lackeys and if over fond of Hermione whom he affectionately calls Mi-Chan though it is not romantic in the least.

**Sera: Hope that's helpful Read and review but DO NOT FLAME!!!!!!!!**

**Sasuke: It's done…but probably not over remember…you still have to finish Pajama DE Ojama.**

**Sera:…**

**Sasuke: R and R no FLAMES!!!**


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